Maria Avigale P. Quilinguin, a graduate of AB Humanities, delivered the valedictory address at the 26th UA&P Graduation Rites streamed live on August 14, 2021.
Suzy Kassem once said that Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will. As we grow older, we adapt a manner of thinking that immediately puts before our eyes the possible consequences of our actions and decisions—a practice that usually results in fear. Fear is already a heavy burden to carry, but throw failure into the mix and you basically have a recipe for disaster. However, this is not always the case. Sometimes, failure is the most transformative tool to dispel fear, and this is something that my UA&P experience placed into perspective.
First, there was my failure to secure a merit scholarship. Before officially entering the university, I was informed that I did not qualify for a merit scholarship. My heart sank. Not because I had missed an opportunity to fund my college education, but because I failed to meet expectations. Sorry, Ma and Pa, for failing to meet your expectations at that point. But I would also like to thank you for allowing me to remain here. Thank you for bringing me into UA&P where the love for learning is nurtured. From the contagious passion of the professors to the interesting links between lessons, I was able to enjoy the process of enriching my mind, which overcame my fear of failure. Yes, my initial rejection scared me, but because of UA&P, my escalating fear turned into a thirst for knowledge.
Second, there was a time when I almost failed to find a source of strength. I was already in my third year when I asked myself, “Was taking up Humanities a mistake?” That question made me cry uncontrollably. I wasn’t failing any of my classes nor was I having any type of difficulty that would cause me to act that way. But I did. I tried to stop the waterworks by looking for a logical reason, but I couldn’t find one. And then it hit me. I was only thinking so hard about it—why wasn’t I praying? I am sure that all of us here are aware that one of the core teachings at UA&P is the fact that there is unity in faith and reason. And at that moment, when my limited human reasoning failed me, faith came to the rescue. Upon realization, I retreated to a silent corner at the ALB Chapel, and I cried and prayed. No, I didn’t have an epiphany, but I gradually felt better. I attended my classes like usual, but there was a shift. Every paper I wrote reminded me of my love for words, and every positive and even negative feedback prompted me to write more. This was the reason why I was and still am in the Humanities. Because my relationship with words reminded me that creating anything out of love leaves no room for regret—only determination, joy, and purpose. Sometimes, love escapes us and leaves us in despair, but there is a solution to that. Pray. Because what better way is there to rein in our wavering love than to get in touch with its most unrelenting Source? In the end, I found my strength in words and, more importantly, in God.
But it wasn’t smooth sailing from there because a year or so after that profound realization, the pandemic hit. An adversary that became the root of my third and final failure. My failure to see what was right in front me. I started thinking about what many of us graduating students were concerned over. Adjusting to a new learning environment, living in constant fear of contracting the virus, and thinking about how we could possibly find a job opportunity when businesses are cutting corners. These are very overwhelming thoughts, and it could cause us to shut down. I did, for a while, but at some point, I decided to refocus all my efforts into the present. I came to understand that there was no point in fearing a hypothetical future and this mindset allowed me to flourish in my classes, ace my internship, and even secure a position at a graduate program for a multinational company. And yet, my fear persists. We are all still basically placed in a position where uncertainty is the default state. We are about to embark on our respective journeys, leaving the familiar premises of our university, onto uncharted territory. Realistically, there is no formulaic approach that will immediately rid us of our fear of what is to come, but if there is something that the Liberal Arts (and UA&P in general), embedded into our minds, it is the fact that we are human. We have the faculties of intellect and will. If we are afraid of something, we can think and act our way out of it or—better yet—through it.
Ultimately, one could say that fear is an inevitable part of life. It comes with the package of being aware and recognizing the value in our words, thoughts, and actions. We get scared of speaking because we are afraid that our words might impact someone (which includes ourselves) negatively; we are reluctant to share our ideas because we value the opinions of others; and we are very careful with taking our next significant steps in life because we believe that our precious time and efforts should be invested in a worthwhile cause. This is fear. It could be that ugly twisting in our stomach that makes us stutter at the most inconvenient times, but it could also be that fuzzy feeling that serves as an indicator that there is value in what we are about to undertake.
On that note, I would like to, once again, extend my sincerest congratulations to all my fellow graduates. Thank you and good luck!
Related article:
A Threefold Love (Valedictory Address 2020)
Banner photo by Ross Sneddon on Unsplash.
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