Intent to Write
So, I have sometimes been guilty of doomscrolling. As a teacher, I probably shouldn’t do that, but I just got sick, and I’ve overwhelmed myself with preps and weekly 2,500-word essays for my PhD classes. Maybe doomscrolling is my only creative outlet. When I went back to Substack out of shame for my own lack of content, I came across Zyra’s and Zach’s articles. I told myself, “I should start writing again.”
October is that time of the year when I get sick… again. My students spotted me wearing my black face mask on campus. Some didn’t even recognize me (as they should, because I look deceptively young). Others immediately noticed the cover-up and ran up to greet me with their usual energy. I just hope I don’t infect them with my flu and that, instead, I get to carry some of their youthful energy into every class.
Now that my UP professor has given our class a short writing break, I find myself at an impasse again. I miss writing with purpose. What should I write about? Last month, I dedicated my article to my aunt, Tita Mina, following the recent passing of my ever-so-gwapo uncle Tito Ricky. For those of you who have been following my articles lately, it’s time I started writing again. This time, though, I shall challenge myself to be more casual and, hopefully, funny.
I dedicate this article to my longtime friend who works at the DMW and who, unfortunately, graduated from UA&P with his name misspelled. Whoever was in charge of that graduation, at least they had Vico Sotto there to comfort them as their guest speaker.
October seems so long, yet with November arriving a little too early, there might be more than meets the eye at the tail end of the year. I bet all my students are excited for ASEAN Week, because I am too. I don’t think November would ever feel quite the same without the anticipation of the holidays and the final weeks of the school year. And yet, this month might not even feel like a month at all.
Wholesome Content: Youtube and Full Metal Alchemist
One good thing about doomscrolling is coming across random, wholesome Catholic and Christian content. “The coolest nun gives us her top 4 anime of all time,” reads the description from Qurbana Media. It was a short-form podcast, and I loved every reply the priest and the nun exchanged. Her top anime was FullMetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (FMA), and I thought to myself, “Wow, same girl.”
I remember watching FMA on the recommendation of my own blockmates ten years ago. I also remember that one episode where someone’s daughter was transformed into a dog. That was a terrifying scene. But I also remember how it taught me something about how we ought to treat others. It is not enough to stop ignoring or disrespecting them; we must also recognize the humanity in them, a humanity that cannot simply be taken away or altered.
FMA focuses so much on transmutation and the principle of equivalent exchange: to gain something, something of equal value must be given. Deep down, I think it also gestures toward the Christian idea of sacrifice, something that is so often taken for granted or overlooked in our modern times.
Since All Souls’ Day and All Saints’ Day have recently passed, I find it fitting to talk about Halloween, too. I expected more candy and more spooky things to appear this year. The horror movies released this month seemed rather lackluster. Perhaps the real horror stories came earlier this year. I will mention two horror movies.
Obsession Review
To drive home my point about humanity and sacrifice, Obsession was a sleeper hit that I never expected would haunt me even more when I revisited its opening scene. That opening scene with Bear’s confession was the only authentic window we have of the character. All the rest of the scenes were a rejection to genuineness, beginning with Bear’s best friend Ian trying to dissuade him against Nikki. To say that Nicki was simply not herself after the One Wish Willow would be an understatement. The film explores what happens when we stop recognizing another person’s humanity and instead reduce them to an attachment, something to possess rather than someone who can choose for themselves.
It was a warning about relationships. What if you love someone more than anything else in the world? It sounds adorable to the foolish of heart, but there is something strangely deceptive about a love that promises everything while slowly taking away another person’s will and capacity to truly love. If love is not God, it becomes the devil.
Right there, I think I failed to be funny.
Resident Evil Review
The second movie, Resident Evil, was not what I expected from a video-game adaptation. The franchise carries decades of lore: Umbrella’s viruses, shifting allegiances, and characters shaped by years of history. How could a moviegoer digest all that in one sitting? The Milla Jovovich films often strayed from the games, turning Resident Evil into a familiar name attached to a different story. Not every moviegoer wants to watch sexy women kill zombies; some of us want the games’ world to mean something. The animated films faithfully reproduce characters and settings but sometimes sacrifice a coherent script for the details. The Jovovich films, at least, have their own hooks and corny charms.
Then came Zach Cregger’s Resident Evil. Rather than to retell a particular game, it captures what playing one feels like: the dread of a quiet moment, the sudden terror of something coming to kill you, and the consequences of ignoring a problem until it returns to haunt you. Watching it was a breath of fresh air and a jolt of nostalgia for the games I grew up with in the 2000s. The box office numbers suggested a lot of people came along for the ride, too. Whether it becomes a classic, time will tell.
At the heart of the movie, it was about Bryan taking for granted a phone call from his girlfriend Michelle. She was going to have a baby. Bryan chose his job over her. Perhaps this movie is another case of losing one’s genuineness, and it was reflected by how Bryan refused to face the fact that he was going to be a dad, never giving Michelle a commitment towards their potential baby on the way. Inadvertently, it was a lesson on marriage (or the lack thereof). Only in the last part of the movie, when death had a close grip on Bryan, did he realize the value of life and what he should have told his girlfriend at that moment when she was scared. Being a father isn’t easy, but showing up is all that matters for life to be just more bearable to go through. Besides zombies, Resident Evil also deals with what it means to confront problems with courage, even if a lot of sacrifice and suffering would be demanded, before those same problems balloon to a nightmare that would endlessly unfold.
Reflection on Humility and St. Jude
In the previous post here in Universitas, I was featured as one of the young faculty who represented the school for the Asian Shakespeare Association’s 7th Biennial Conference in Hong Kong. As much fanciness as those words may sound, I wouldn’t have attended their last event if not for the help of fellow Filipino domestic workers who rescued me from the street. The last day was supposed to be a sunny day. My colleagues went ahead to the event while I attended the 9AM mass. Little did I know, as soon as I stepped out of the church, rain started pouring down the street. I was not at home, and I didn’t know where the nearest place to buy an umbrella was. So, I ran back to my hotel. Thinking I could outrun the rain, my garments got all the more wet until the same group of people who celebrated mass with me, saved me from my foolish attempt. One of them offered me a shared space under her umbrella. “Nasaan na pamilya mo?”, she asked. I told them I brought a different family to Hong Kong, one composed of like minded colleagues for a convention on Shakespeare. They were amazed and confused. I was just happy to have them laughing.
When I found a 7/11 store to buy an umbrella, I felt humbled by their presence. I thanked them but that gesture of “thanks” felt incomparable to the everyday sacrifices they do. One of them showed me a picture of her two babies back home, and it already explained everything. They have not yet returned, and they were willing to take care of someone else’s baby so that their baby has a future.
I was reminded of St. Jude and Patrick Stewart (rest in peace). To explain this unlikely combo, let me begin with Patrick Stewart’s famous quote that has been going on trend again after his recent passing. “Just because someone stumbles or loses their way, it doesn’t mean they’re lost forever.” That quote came from Professor X’s advice to Wolverine before Hugh travelled back in time to save the mutants. Yet this same phrase is not just for time travelling heroes but it’s also for the weak at heart. That quote is a hopeful reminder that it’s okay to fail sometimes. We may feel the weight of one loss, but we can get back up for that second opportunity. It’s never too late to try again. Failures must not define us but our conviction to keep making a second attempt does.
This follows through with who St. Jude interceded for. As the saint for lost causes, he is one of those quiet sentinels who watches those who have gravely fallen off from their path in life. Sadly, just add an -as and we might mistake him for the traitor. St. Jude is different. His epistles clearly show his resolve, warning Christians against false teachers and reminding them to strengthen their faith. For me, I’d like to think that Jude also came from the famous Beatles’ song “Hey Jude”. “Don’t be afraid, you were made to go out and get her”. Originally that song was made to comfort John Lennon’s son, Jude himself. Perhaps there is something remarkable and deeply mysterious in how we often find encouragement in the most unexpected places. In my case, it comes from a saint. Sometimes, from a Beatles song. And sometimes, from a stranger who happens to have an extra space under her umbrella.
Conclusion
Looking back, I think that was what made my encounter with the domestic workers in Hong Kong so memorable. They probably won’t remember the young Filipino teacher they helped that rainy morning. I, on the other hand, will remember them for a long time. I went to Hong Kong to talk about Shakespeare, but I came home with another story about the humanity of ordinary people. It was a reminder that the best lessons aren’t always found in books, classrooms, or academic conferences. Sometimes, they happen when we least expect them, and sometimes, we are fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of someone else’s kindness.
Perhaps humility begins with recognizing that we are not always the ones who have something to teach. We are also students of other people’s generosity. We stumble, we get lost, and we sometimes make a mess of things. But there will always be opportunities to begin again, provided that we remain open to the people who help us along the way.
And so, here I am, attempting to write again. I began this article with the intention of being more casual and, hopefully, funny. I’m not entirely sure I succeeded. I managed to squeeze in anime, two horror movies, a Beatles song, St. Jude, and a rather embarrassing story about getting caught in the rain. Not exactly the most organized collection of thoughts, but perhaps that’s the beauty of writing when you have no particular agenda, and just genuineness.
Maybe the intent to write isn’t always about having something profound to say. Sometimes, it is simply about being willing to notice the little things, remember the people who made a difference, and share a story before it slips away. After all, we don’t always need a grand reason to simply try again.
