Teaching John to be Good

“Teaching Johnny to be Good” is the title of the New York Times Magazine cover article for Dr. Thomas Lickona and his organization’s work on the subject of character education. The 76-year-old American development psychologist and educator recently visited the Philippines for a series of talks on fostering moral values and character development. His first stop was the University of Asia and the Pacific.

More than 800 individuals, half of which were students, flocked to the Dizon Auditorium on October 9, 2019 for the International Conference on Fostering Kindness and Respect in School and at Home featuring Dr. Lickona. Organized by the Junior College Program of the College of Arts and Sciences, the conference had separate sessions for students, educators, and parents.

The founding director of the Center for the 4th and 5th Rs (Respect and Responsibility) at the State University of New York at Cortland discussed with his Filipino audience (1) how to make the right decisions on sex, love, and character; (2) practical strategies for the classroom on fostering kindness, respect, and gratitude; and (3) what parents can do to raise children of character.

If you missed this international conference, we’ll give you here some of the highlights of Dr. Lickona’s talks with emphasis on what can apply to the youth—the Johns, not the Johnnys—in the classroom.#

 

 

FOR STUDENTS

Much talk has been made about early pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases when it comes to teen sex, but not enough about the rewards of doing the exact opposite—waiting—until you are both fully committed to each other through marriage.

Listed below are ten rewards of waiting for the right time:

1. Waiting will make your relationships better because you’ll spend more time getting to know each other.
2. Waiting will increase your self-respect.
3. Waiting will gain you respect for having the courage of your convictions.
4. Waiting will teach you to respect others – you won’t tempt or pressure them. 
5. Waiting takes the pressure off you.

   

6. Waiting means a clear conscience (no guilt) and peace of mind (no regrets).
7. Waiting will help you find the right mate—someone who values you for the person you are. 
8. Waiting means a better sexual relationship in marriage – free of comparisons and based on trust. By waiting, you’re being faithful to your spouse even before you meet him or her. 
9. By practicing the virtues involved in waiting, such as good judgment, self-control, modesty, and genuine respect for self and others, you’re developing the kind of character that will make you a good marriage partner.
10. By becoming a person of character yourself, you’ll be able to attract a person of character –  the kind of person you’d like to marry and to have as the father or mother of your children.

You may also keep in mind these 10 tips for leading a chaste life:

1. Keep in mind the dangers of premarital sex and the rewards of waiting.
2. Practice modesty in your speech, dress, and actions.
3. Date wisely. Date people who share your values, and date mostly in groups.
4. If you date singly, plan your dates and avoid sexual temptation.
5. Tap into support systems: (a) a friend who is saving sex, (b) your faith, a church group, (c) good websites, (d) good books.

   

6. Know how to resist sexual pressure.
7. Limit physical affection to holding hands and chaste hugs.
8. If you need to start over after committing a mistake, have a game plan: 
   1. List your reason for living a chaste life.
   2. Find supportive friends.
   3. Set and stick to limits.
   4. Focus on your future goals.
9. Stay away from pornography.
10. Pray. And develop a sense of purpose about your life.

Source: The Fourth and Fifth Rs – Respect and Responsibility, Vol. 13, Issue 2, Fall 2007

 

 

FOR PARENTS

Big Idea #1

We don’t have to be perfect parents to be good parents.

Big Idea #2

 Parents have influence but don’t control the outcome.

Big Idea #3

To raise kids of character, we have to know what good character is and make it a high priority.

Big Idea #4

The content of good character is virtue. Virtues are objectively good human qualities, good for the individual and good for the whole society.

         10 Essential virtues (affirmed by cultures around the world): wisdom, justice, fortitude, self-control, love/kindness, positive attitude,

hard work, integrity, gratitude, humility

Big Idea #5

To raise kind kids, we must:

1. 1. Help each child build a strong personal character based on virtuous habits (kindness, respect, etc.). This is the work of habit formation.
   2. Build a strong family culture of character that expects and supports the development of good character and brings out the best in all family members.

If you would like a copy of Dr. Lickona’s PowerPoint materials for parents, email him at [email protected].

 

 

FOR EDUCATORS

The Center for Character and Social Responsibility (formerly named Center for the Advancement of Ethics and Character) of Boston University Wheelock College of Education and Human Development compiled 100 ways to promote character education, with inputs from numerous teachers and administrators. Dr. Lickona mentioned most of these ways during the session for educators though the suggestions apply more to young children. Here we present from the same list the tips that educators can apply to late teens and older.

• Regularly weave into your discussion of stories and history and other subjects questions like “What’s the right thing to do?” and follow up with a discussion.
• Treat ethical issues like other intellectual issues—get the facts, gather evidence, weigh consequences, and make a decision.
• Teach students to analyze the media critically. To what extent do their messages encourage living a life of character?

  

• Consider ethical implications when establishing classroom and school policies and procedures; be aware of what messages they send to students.
• Make classroom expectations clear, and hold students accountable for them.
• Strive to be consistent in dealings with students; avoid allowing personal feelings to interfere with fairness.
• Admit mistakes and seek to correct them. Expect and encourage students to do the same.
• When conflicts arise at school, teach students the importance of respect, open-mindedness, privacy, and discretion. Do not allow conversations that are fueled by gossip or disrespect.
• When making school policy, allow students’ participation and responsibility in some decisions. Have them research the various ramifications of different policies and present their findings to the administrators and faculty for decisions.
• During national or local election season, encourage students to research candidates’ positions.
• Encourage students to volunteer to voter registration drives and, if eligible, to vote.
• Structure opportunities for your students to do service in the community.
• Foster the students’ development and self-esteem by providing opportunities for genuine academic and social challenge and achievement.

  

• Demonstrate your respect for other religions and cultures. Talk to students about the moral imperative to act justly toward others.
• Use constructive criticism, tempered by compassion. Help students do the same with each other.
• Assign reasonable amounts of homework that stimulate and challenge students while teaching the importance of self-discipline and perseverance in learning.
• Invite local employers to talk to students about the importance of good moral character in the world of work.
• Have athletes and coaches collaborate to develop a code of ethics for athletics.

  

• Ask each school organization to design a logo symbolizing a character trait representative of the club’s mission.
• Emphasize and teach the significance of school rituals. Talk about the importance of recognizing certain rights as a community and properly acknowledging them.
• Publicly recognize the work and achievement of the school’s “unsung heroes”—the custodians, repairmen, secretaries, cafeteria workers, and volunteers—who keep things running every day.
• Be attentive to the physical appearance of the buildings. Involve all school members in the shared responsibility of general cleanliness and order.#

 

Banner photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash.