If, before the pandemic struck, you’ve had disagreements with your colleagues and knew what it felt like to work with tension in the workplace, imagine how much trickier it is now to patch things up when you cannot even see the other person. What an impromptu chat or a casual walk-by to the person’s desk can accomplish is hardly possible in a remote work setup. So what can we do to resolve conflicts in a remote team?
Take time to think things through.
You’d say, “But I do that even with in-person conflicts.” Well then, you have to do it even better this time because the text-based communication mediums (emails, text messages, instant messages, etc.) that have practically become the lifeblood of remote work are “ripe for miscommunication, for misunderstanding,” says Amy E. Gallo, author of the HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict. “You can use all the emojis in the world but you’re not going to convey the same emotion and detail that you would convey with even just the tone of your voice,” she adds.
In an explainer video of Harvard Business Review (HBR), Gallo explains how a simple email can trigger in us a feeling or emotion (Was that email rude?) that can snowball (I don’t deserve to be treated like this!) when we let our instinctive interpretation of the email get the better of us.
“Because your instinct is likely going to be telling yourself a negative story about that person, you really have to counter that by asking yourself, ‘What would a logical, generous interpretation of his behavior [or email] be?’”
“We’re working on a pandemic here,” the contributing editor of HBR continues. “People are under pressures that we don’t always understand. Admit to yourself that you don’t truly know what’s going on for that person.”
Focus on a shared goal.
When it is time to talk with the person, Gallo recommends starting by focusing on a shared goal rather than on the interpersonal dynamic.
“What is it that you actually need to get done? What is it that you have in common? What is your shared goal? That’s a much better place to start a discussion from than ‘I think you’re a mean person.’”
Focusing on a shared goal entails outlining clearly the organization’s or the group’s goals and expectations – an idea shared by a Canada-based executive coaching and human resource consulting firm.
“This [clarification of goals] fosters ownership and empowerment,” Pivot HR Services claims. “When you ensure each team member understands the overall goals of the organization, their function and their impact, it creates a goal-oriented environment. Regular team meetings that provide updates and set clear objectives help keep everyone on the same page.”
Pick up the phone.
A Fortune.com article mentions how Michael Pryor, co-founder of productivity app Trello, emphasized the need to make the discussion private if tension is already building up and the presence of team members adds pressure to the conflict. A one-on-one voice or video call can improve the situation, the author writes. Before calling the other person, however, ask him or her first if it is okay to talk about the issue over the phone so as not to catch the other person off guard.
Similarly, Gallo asserts that some people prefer phone calls as the two parties can obtain a quick reply or reaction instead of the delayed response when communicating via email. She notes that, compared with a video call where there can still be a lot of distractions (such as connectivity issues), “a phone call lets you focus on that person and really hear what he’s saying and [gives you the opportunity to] be able to articulate what you want to say without distractions.”
Video calls are encouraged, on the other hand, as it facilitates connections among members in a remote team. Anna Shields, director of UK-based Consensio, a mediation and conflict management provider, prescribes social video calls to foster team interaction. Consensio advices organizations to create opportunities for positive social interactions, such as regular team meetings where everyone gets together just to check in on each other, do team building activities, or have online drinks. Shields commented, “Check in with people regularly, not only about tasks but also on a personal level.”
Conflicts are an inevitable part of human interactions, but managing one’s emotions, thinking of the shared goals, and talking things over with due respect for the other person will go a long way in resolving conflicts in teams.
References:
Moran, G. (2020, April 6). 3 ways to manage conflict when you work remotely. Fortune. https://fortune.com/2020/04/06/remote-work-from-home-tips-tricks-advice-communication/
Harvard Business Review. (2020, November 2). How to deal with remote conflict. FutureCFO. https://futurecfo.net/how-to-deal-with-remote-conflict/
Pivot HR Services. (n.d.). Conflict management strategies for remote teams. https://pivothrservices.ca/conflict-management-strategies/
Shields, A. (2020, May 26). ‘Remote conflict’: What happens when teams work from home? Personnel Today. https://www.personneltoday.com/hr/remote-conflict-teams-work-from-home-wfh/
Banner photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels.
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